According to police reports, the pair were “taking the skin boat to tuna town” in the backseat of their parked vehicle by the riverside. Things took a turn when the ditsy broad accidentally disengaged the car from park, sending it rolling into the water. After he finished, they both managed to swim to safety, but their SUV wasn’t so lucky. It took crews until 9 AM to fully remove the vehicle from the river. When the man was asked why they were making love by the Schuylkill River he responded “It’s the only thing that covers the smell.”

This incident marks the second time this month a car has been found in the Schuylkill River. Just two weeks ago, another vehicle was discovered, though no occupants were found, but TMVP theorizes it was probably the same chic. Stay tuned for more quirky news stories, and remember, folks, always keep your car in park!