WE’RE SELLING OUT! TMVP Announces Its Bold New Micro-Sponsorship Strategy
Because artistic integrity doesn’t pay the electric bill.
Let’s be honest with each other. We’ve spent years bringing you news, weirdness, questionable science, questionable decisions, and the kind of commentary that makes you wonder whether we should be allowed near a functioning microphone.
We’ve built a podcast network. We’ve assembled an Infection Team. We’ve cultivated an audience. We’ve invested countless hours into creating quality entertainment for people who probably should be doing something more productive with their lives.
And now? We’ve joined an affiliate program.
THAT’S RIGHT, ASSHOLES. WE’RE SELLING OUT!
And not just a little. We’re going FULL CORPORATE.
Introducing TMVP Micro-Sponsorships!
Why should multinational corporations, professional sports leagues, and billion-dollar entertainment conglomerates have all the fun? Major League Baseball has figured out how to put advertising on practically everything short of the players’ internal organs. (Give them time.)
At TMVP, we believe every moment is a monetization opportunity. Every segment is a revenue stream. Every bodily function is a potential brand integration.
We call it Micro-Sponsorships. You call it the opportunity of a lifetime. Your accountant calls it a tax deduction. (Ask your accountant. We’re podcasters, not tax professionals.)
Want to sponsor the Top 3 Teaser?
DONE! Your company gets associated with the three stories most likely to make our audience stop scrolling and start questioning the future of humanity.
Want to sponsor Riki’s Reality Round-Up?
ABSOLUTELY! Put your brand alongside celebrity meltdowns, reality-TV disasters, and the continuing collapse of civilization as experienced by people with better lighting than us.
Want to sponsor an entire B Block? An interview? A special report? A deeply unnecessary investigation into something that absolutely did not need investigating?
LET’S TALK!
But we’re not stopping there.
No Bodily Function Left Behind!
Here at The Media Virus Podcast Network, we believe in leaving no advertising inventory unexploited.
We’re talking about the little moments. The incidental moments. The moments that other podcast networks foolishly allow to go completely unmonetized.
Sneezes. Belches. Coughs. Awkward pauses. Existential sighs.
And, naturally, the crown jewel of modern commercial broadcasting:
THE SPONSORED FART.
Imagine the possibilities.
Matty Rockdef is delivering a thoughtful analysis of current events when suddenly, an unexpected atmospheric disturbance interrupts the proceedings.
Instead of apologizing, we capitalize.
“This audible fart was brought to you by [YOUR BRAND HERE] — when you absolutely, positively have to clear the room.”
BOOM! That’s not a digestive accident. That’s an advertising impression.
Maybe it’s a mattress company. Maybe it’s an air freshener. Maybe it’s a company that sells emergency underwear. We don’t judge. We just invoice.
And if the sound effect happens to be artificially produced? Even better. We can offer a full menu of flatulence packages, from the discreet executive whisper to the thunderous, room-clearing catastrophe.
Premium pricing applies to particularly resonant productions.
Your Brand. Our Shame. Everybody Wins.
The genius of Micro-Sponsorships is that you don’t need a six-figure advertising budget to become part of the TMVP experience.
You just need an idea, a product, a service, or a burning desire to associate your brand with a podcast featuring people who grew up with MTV and have apparently learned absolutely nothing.
We can work with you to develop creative integrations that fit the show, fit your budget, and fit somewhere between legitimate marketing and an incident requiring a formal apology.
Want your name attached to a recurring segment? Let’s do it.
Want to sponsor a single joke? We can discuss rates.
Want to be the official sponsor of Matty’s next bad decision? Get in line. There’s a lot of competition for that position.
Want to underwrite a dramatic pause, a questionable scientific claim, or Big Daddy Stanley’s next unsolicited opinion?
WE HAVE INVENTORY!
In fact, if you can identify a moment in the show that isn’t currently generating revenue, we’d like to hear about it. Our accountants are standing by. (They are actually just us with calculators, but the principle remains intact.)
Is This Selling Out?
Of course it is.
We’re not going to insult your intelligence by pretending otherwise.
We are commercializing The Media Virus Podcast Network. We are exploring new revenue streams. We are embracing the time-honored tradition of taking something we love, putting a price tag on it, and seeing whether somebody is sufficiently entertained, intoxicated by capitalism, or just plain confused enough to buy it.
But here’s the thing: we’d rather sell a sponsorship for a sneeze than sell you a bunch of bullshit about how money doesn’t matter.
Money matters. Production costs money. Time costs money. Equipment costs money. And apparently, even our dignity has a negotiable rate.
So we’re opening up the inventory.
The Media Virus Podcast Network is ready to entertain your audience, introduce your brand to ours, and explore sponsorship opportunities that range from the completely respectable to the spectacularly ridiculous.
We can be serious when the situation demands it.
Fortunately, this is TMVP. The situation rarely demands it.
LET’S MAKE A DEAL!
Got a business? A product? A service? A brand that needs exposure? A marketing budget that’s been sitting around doing absolutely nothing?
We want to hear from you.
Call the TMVP hotline at 646-VIRUS-01 (646-847-8701) or email Media.virus.hole.
Tell us what you want to sponsor. Tell us what you’re selling. Tell us how much you’re willing to spend to hear your name associated with something that should probably never be associated with a brand.
We’ll figure something out.
The Media Virus Podcast Network: Real News. Weird News. Questionable Decisions. And Now, Sponsored Flatulence.
TMVP: We’re not saying we’ll sell our souls. We’re just saying we’ll entertain offers.
Disclaimer: Sponsorship concepts are subject to availability, creative approval, and the Infection Team’s questionable judgment. Advertising does not constitute an endorsement of a sponsor’s claims or products unless explicitly stated.